My Life in Practice

Personal Core Tenet

A personal core tenet is a deeply held belief or principle that guides your behavior, decisions, and actions. These fundamental values act as a personal compass, shaping your attitude, helping you navigate challenges, and defining your sense of purpose in life.

My personal core tenets

I can divide my tenets into four basic categories: wisdom, courage, self-confidence, well-being. These can be viewed thru demonstrable values. I also like to have phrases that help to define these. These are ways I remember what I am working towards.

Wisdom

This is probably the easiest tenet for me to live by as I have always seen knowledge as a powerful force. I can chalk this one up to my dad who demonstrated this very actively in my youth. Wisdom is demonstrated by many values, including: empathy, curiosity, humor, learning, imagination, creativity, intelligence, originality, cleverness.

• Be a learner, even when the lessons are tough.
• Try new things, poke the button (in dev, always in dev first).
• Ask questions, the only stupid question is the one not asked.
• Believe in the ability of others, help them get better.

Courage

To me courage is doing the hard things. It is the person I want to be when it is comfortable and when it is not so comfortable. I see courage as having the following values: bravery, acceptance, fairness, generosity, kindness, security, sincerity, honesty. I should note that these are not just values to sever others, do not forget yourself.

• Be brave when it is scary, especially when it is scary.
• Believe in kindness that is fair, generous, sincere, and honest.
• Accept yourself as you accept others.

Self-Confidence

Okay we are getting deep now (see humor up above). The core values for this tenet are ones I must consistently challenge myself to live by: approachability, open-mindedness, service, structure, ethics, respect, communication, professionalism, credibility, decisiveness. This is not being cocky; it is being real.

• Your team (personal or professional) needs you to be approachable, open-minded, and credible.
• Respect is earned; professionalism is deserved.
• The golden rule: do unto others and you would have them do unto you.

Well-being

Take this one seriously! You cannot fill others’ cups from an empty cup. And I know for sure that my body cannot handle unlimited stressors. I read this list of values the most: balance, calmness, composure, mindfulness, self-awareness, resilience, perseverance, family, grace, happiness.

• Breathe, just breathe
• Find your bliss, I promise it will serve you well.
• Run a diagnostic, then adjust the settings.
• Give yourself the grace you give others.

I know this was long but I want to end with a little perspective if you relate to these but maybe do not see you as demonstrating them as well as you could.

Perspective

I asked ChatGPT to explain why we may see ourselves in a more negative light than others see us, I even had it cite its sources. This type of dichotomy shows up in so many ways. For me recognizing these patterns and adjusting my thoughts and behaviors are a critical step in living by my core tenets.

🧠 1. Negativity Bias

Humans are wired to focus more on negative information than positive — a phenomenon called the negativity bias.

🪞 2. The Spotlight Effect & Self-Focused Attention

You are the center of your own awareness — which means you tend to overestimate how much others notice or judge you.

💬 3. Impostor Phenomenon (Impostor Syndrome)

You may attribute your successes to luck or external factors rather than your abilities — while attributing failures to personal flaws.

💭 4. Core Beliefs and Early Learning

If you grew up with environments that were critical, demanding, or inconsistent, your brain may have internalized self-critical “core schemas” like “I’m not good enough” or “I have to be perfect to be accepted.”

❤️ 5. Lack of Emotional Distance

You experience your thoughts, emotions, and mistakes in real time — others only see your actions or curated expressions of them.

References

1. Baumeister, R. F., Bratslavsky, E., Finkenauer, C., & Vohs, K. D. (2001). Bad is stronger than good. Review of General Psychology, 5(4), 323–370.
   → This classic paper explains why negative self-assessments often outweigh positive ones in shaping how we see ourselves.
2. Gilovich, T., Medvec, V. H., & Savitsky, K. (2000). The spotlight effect in social judgment: An egocentric bias in estimates of the salience of one’s own actions and appearance. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 78(2), 211–222.
3. Clance, P. R., & Imes, S. A. (1978). The imposter phenomenon in high achieving women: Dynamics and therapeutic intervention. Psychotherapy: Theory, Research & Practice, 15(3), 241–247.
4. Beck, A. T. (1967). Depression: Clinical, experimental, and theoretical aspects. Harper & Row.
   → Beck’s cognitive model of depression explains how maladaptive core beliefs distort self-perception.
5. Burns, D. D. (1980). Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy. Harper.
   → Based on cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), this work details how emotional reasoning sustains negative self-views.